Two dogs slip into their military gear and strike-out to take on the evil forces of… cat zombies… in this simplistic and grammatically painful tap-and-shoot title. In the modern day of top-notch Android games sporting 3D graphics, deep mechanics, and addicting game play, Mission Of Crisis feels like an early Nintendo game. How, then, did it come by such a high 4.5 star rating on the Play store? Your guess is as good as mine.
Vibrantly Rescue Of Puppies
Your riveting story begins with two dawgs – Matt and Angie – who are on a mission to save some puppies from an evil horde of “Mombies” (I have no idea). Mombies, in my opinion, are really a horde of stray cats who – at some unfortunate crossroads in their evolution – all simultaneously developed leprosy, died, and came back as zombies. Thankfully for Matt and Angie, they have some pretty high-caliber weaponry to fend off these slow-moving, gauze-wrapped terrors of the night!
Each of your dawgs has a preferred gun at their disposal, a skill tree to unlock, and a shop full of items that will assist them in “eradicating injustice in this dangerous battlefield”. Unfortunately for you, everything in the game is really really expensive. During your missions, you’ll earn some gold and little purple gems, but not nearly enough to upgrade your skills and weapons to match the ferocity of the diseased kitten army! You see, even though you have two well-armed dawgs at your command, the Mombies have an annoying tendency to run away and call for backup. What’s more, Mombies aren’t your cookie-cutter, slow-moving zombies that shuffle toward you with arms outstretched… they move just about as fast as your dawgs. The end-result of this strange speed mismatch, plus the sheer number of Mombies on the map, plus the fact that Mombies call their homies into the fight, is that you quickly get mobbed. And die.
Epic Challenge To Friend Dogs With Arena
Mission Of Crisis gets ridiculously difficult quite early-on, and the only way I can see out of this Mombie-madness is somehow managing to upgrade the hell out of your skills and weapons. Of course, you’ll need gems to upgrade, but hey – you can always buy them with real-world ca$h! How convenient for you. Another, albeit slower-than-molasses, approach to earning gems is by entering the “Arena”. At first, I thought this arena would be the saving-grace to this title – an online map where everyone takes their dawgs off-leash, lets them sniff each others’ backsides for a bit, and then opens-fire on the lot of them. But no. To my dismay, this “arena” mode is an asynchronous match between your dawgs, a few waves of Mombies, and a strange spaceship-looking base. Train your sniper on the base, take care of the waves of Mombies with your assault dawg, blow up the base, earn a couple gems and call it a day. Disappointing.
As for the “amazing battlefield graphics that will hook you for hours”… yea, not. While the maps are decent-looking, they’re nothing to write home about. Most maps feel the same, only with different arrangements of Mombies and trees. The interface is rather uninspiring – tap somewhere to make your dawg go and tap an enemy to start shooting – and the way skills are triggered is a bit confusing. At first, I’d thought that selecting an enemy and then tapping the skill icon would trigger the skill. Actually, you need to tap the skill first (to open a translucent attack radius) and THEN tap an enemy to trigger the skill… a bit counter-intuitive.
All-in-all, Mission Of Crisis has done one thing well and that’s to reinforce my belief that the Play store rating system is truly meaningless. The game is chalk-full of grammar errors, has dated graphics, a clunky interface, and is terribly uninteresting – even in Arena mode. On a side-note, WTH does “DUNT!” mean? So confused… Goodbye Mission Of Crisis; all my base aren’t belong to you. Over and out.
(PS: All headers in this article are intentionally dramatic and loaded with irony.)